friday :/

Friday, August 27, 2010♥

i'm starting to dread fridays :/

and, u're one complicated fella.

Labels: left right left

smile with me at 5:00:00 AM

never underestimate

Thursday, August 26, 2010♥

spent 2 hours changing my blogskin ;D
super satisfied!
getting better & better with the html codes.
changed a lot of the codes and changed the photos.
me likeee my new blogskin.
woots xDDDD
okay, off to bed.
sayonaraaaa~~ smile with me at 6:19:00 AM

baby, is this love?

I'm into the nail polish craze again. xDDD
thank goodness i've got a job.
*phewwww*
i wanted to buy some nail polishes online just now.
but after i calculated the total price (excluding postage charges), my eyes went O.O
cannot be so ambitious :X
okay, shall not whine on nail polishes.

i really dislike how she forces us to say things.
when we don't wanna share, means we are not comfortable with sharing
but she will just scold us, say we attitude and stuff :/
it's really very stressful.
that's perhaps why i dislike showing my emotions at home.

anyway, my "family members" only have themselves in mind.
guys --> ego HIGH --> don't take my feelings into account --> feel like leaving

i'm not emo-ing.

Labels: left right left

smile with me at 3:45:00 AM

Reasons to smile (:

Tuesday, August 24, 2010♥

reading thru my blog
i realised that i haven't been blogging about happy stuff in my life.
so here i am, doing a post about happy incidents so far,
to make me realise that my life isnt that shitty afterall(:

1. I went prawning with mummaye and sister (:
2. Got a holiday job back at T.Y.Lin (: awesomee feeling, it felt like going home(:
3. I passed my tkd grading. Not a high belt yet but still, i passed (:
4. I finally used my birthday present - baking oven from my dad (:
5. I'm finally back at blogging (:
6. Watched 'Liar Game - Final Stage'(: AWESOMEEEE MAXXX!
7. Planned my route after polytechnic(: Felt so "directed" now (:
8. Many many more. but ahh wellzxzxzxzx. lazy to name all (:

Feeling so positive now (:
ciaozxzxzzxzxzxzxzxzxz

Labels: happy days

smile with me at 1:53:00 AM

it sucks putting in ur whole heart to treat someone nicely
yet receive minimal or nth.
but i don't wanna be selfish.

someone lost the wallet ytd.
without thinking, i rushed down to help.
yet i wasnt appreciated.
seeing how upset that person was, i suggested to bake tarts to distract the attention.
yet again, i wasnt appreciated.
wad should i do?

time to focus on my studies.
i really nid to focus 100%

God, please give me the strength and courage to move on.
Amen. smile with me at 1:44:00 AM

Sunday, August 22, 2010♥

i just nid a more understanding you.
is that too much? smile with me at 12:25:00 AM

not gonna blog so regularly nowadays.
gonna focus on exams purely.
till then, ciaozxzxzxzxzx smile with me at 12:24:00 AM

Lifeeeee

2 yrs ago, i started with high hopes, with high ambition.
ppl started telling me "the higher ur hopes, the higher the disappointment"
they said, "don't chiong too much, i know first year all high ambition one, but dun nid"
i was stubborn then, i didnt want to believe.
i worked hard in everything i do, though appearing slack at times.
but all i did, i did with my best effort.
however, no matter wad i do, they just dun seem to recognize.
saying things like "u buey zai", "this wrong that wrong", "u slacker"
using seniority to press on me.
the burden/pressure was too much for me to take.
i smile, i joke, but they just didnt realise how hurting it was for me to take such 'joke'
when i started out, i kept quiet, all i did was observe how everything was going.
yet the comments i received were "u're too quiet", "must have ur own thinking", "got thing must say, dun after that then complain to others"
then i changed, i started voicing out my own opinion.
i became defensive of my actions, i didnt allow anyone to accuse me of anything.
i was no longer the naive junior who accept wadever everyone say.
wad did i get in return?
"hot-tempered", "fierce", "stubborn"
people whom ought to be on my side, turned their back on me.
even the closest one, even the most trusted one.
back in my "home", away from the "war zone",
i face the same old senior-junior issue.
not only that, we all had double standards.
i'm so tired.
recently, i kept asking myself "is it worth it to do all these?"
is it really worth it to endure all these crap, these humiliation from everyone?
my results are dropping,
and it's all because of this.
as i'm typing this, the urge of just leaving everything is so strong.
"family members", sometimes, i just feel that ur ego(s) is(are) too high.
i'm really tired of hearing instructions from u guys, i'm tired of u guys standing on the other side, i'm tired of u guys thinking that u all are high above and i'm just on the ground,
in short, i'm tired of wad i've to go through since 2 years ago.

i apologize for making this so obvious,
but trust me,
i tried my best to change all the obvious terms as much as i could already.
but i'm just too tired to carry the burden/pressure of the senior-junior/more zai-buey zai/who more useful/who stay in this "family" longer already.
i'm crying soon.

Labels: left right left, true feelings

smile with me at 12:04:00 AM

Tuesday, August 17, 2010♥

busy life ):
will update soon.
i promise.

i saw 11.11 today and i made a wish for u(: smile with me at 2:23:00 AM

Wednesday, August 11, 2010♥

i forgot to collect my npcc CI cert ):

LIFE SUCKS MAN! ): smile with me at 1:57:00 AM

Tuesday, August 03, 2010♥

my to-do list for tmr.
1. wake up EARLY
2. send resume to agency
3. FINISH stats report
4. get ENOUGH rest
5. get started on TVE assignment
6. finish everything by 4pm(:

gawd. i'm damn stress ):
it's not as if i've got not enough work to do already.
why did i even do that.
better time management now, i guess.

oh, i managed to get 11.11 just now (:
happy max.
but i did not make a wish xDD
retarded, i know ):

at 11.11,
i thought of you, and i smiled (: smile with me at 12:30:00 AM

Monday, August 02, 2010♥

ONG KOK HAO
*the noisy botak who is in army now*
it feels weird not seeing ur name online.
HAHAS.
kthxbye(:
hope u're enjoying yourself in army!
thanks for all the knowledge imparted in these two years (:
all the best for you and *ERHEM* miss koh.
HAHAHAHAHAHAA.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
i dunno wad to do to us.
shud i leave, stay or wad?
i dunno.
wad do you want? smile with me at 11:47:00 PM