MY STORY.

我不甘心。

Wednesday, September 28, 2011♥

why did we end up like that.

like two strangers who've never met.

i'm still waiting for the day when we become like how we used to be.

foolish, but true.

i'm still looking forward to that day.

there hasn't been a day whereby i wouldn't think about us.

how did things end up like this?

i don't know.

the only thing i'm certain is,

you destroyed me.

a part of me will always miss us.

"I go back to december all the time."
what a relevant song lyric.
so close to my heart.

Labels: tumblr, you(:, yunho ♥

smile with me at 4:47:00 AM

i wouldn't change any part of me, just to make you stay.

Monday, September 19, 2011♥

sudden gush of negative emotions hit me likaa 100km/hr train.

"Deep down inside my bitchy attitude,

lies a major insecure kid.
i don't remember much about my childhood.
all i remember was that i cried a lot.
i didn't had a happy childhood."

let's just leave it as that.

i'm afraid to be vulnerable.
it's just that i'm used to telling people "i'm okay"
to the extent that nobody thinks that i will ever have "not-okay" moments.

but, one day, i will be okay.
because 'what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger' right?

You,
i don't know if you still do visit my blog like how you used to.
but i just wanna say that i'm sorry for MIA-ing from your life, again.
I just don't have the courage to say bye.
All along, being friends with you was like, a bonus to me.
I always push friends out of my life. always.
and they never came back.
but you were different. you come back, every time, forgiving me for all the stupid stuff that i do.
You were always there for me, knocking sense into me.
but this time, i'm really letting go.
i can't let this "push-forgive" friendship carry on like this.
i'm sorry.

and thank you for everything you've done for me all these years, never once giving up on me.

p.s it may seem silly but you don't really know the internal struggle in me, do you?

Organization interview on tuesday.
Wish me luck (:

oh, did i mention that i've officially kept all my npcc stuff in my cupboard (except for the PT kits since ATC's not over yet) and don't intend to touch them for a longgggggg longgggggg time.
phewww. that was a major decision you know.
the fact that npcc was a BIG part of my life since 2005, it was kinda hard to get used to life without npcc. but oh wellzxzx, i will survive :D
I had lots of fun during my years as QTSS CI and i thank all my fellow CIs and cadets for all the fun. all the best~ i love you guys soooooo much.

so, it's goodbye npcc, and hello internship (:

Labels: f for friends, left right left

smile with me at 4:47:00 AM