MY STORY.

what's going on?

Wednesday, March 09, 2011♥

credits: http://kk.org/ct2/calvinhobbes_friends.jpg

friends. hmm. what can i say about it?

i'm not exactly the friend kind of friend.

as in, i don't see myself as the kind of friend that everyone wants/needs.

of course, i do try my best to be a friend that is there for my friend ALWAYS.

but friends around me do not stay. i don't know why.

there's just this very very close period then *poof* things "dilute"

i guess the problem lies with me, i can't keep friends. ): boohoo.

so this holiday, i'm gonna learn to interact with my friends more and spend more time to talk to them, understand them (:

it's not gonna be easy since i failed so many times ):

my aim is not only to keep friends, but try to repair broken relationships with people that i lost contact / had some conflicts with.

how old already? still quarrel like a kid mehhhhhhhhh. bleh.

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finally the end of all exams. i know i'm super late in blogging this.

just that recently no inspiration to blog so i didn't wanna do up a blog post just for the sake of doing it.

look at that crap "relationship" post.

i did it halfway and totally had no inspiration to continue so i just did a lousy work on it.

*guilty*

i guess i'll continue it soon la.

a bit stupid for me to leave it hanging there like that.

and omg, this sem's exam was the last time i'm gonna sit down in a room with my coursemates to do a paper for pcs ):

~~i'm gonna miss exams~~

okay. no more emo topic.

my TO DO list for this holiday :

1. earn / save money $$

2. gym gym gym

3. read 2 books ^^

4. (hopefully) get a part time job

5. lose weight :X (don't laugh, assholeys)

must make full use of my holidays and not sleep my way through.

come on, my friends please come ask me out okayzxzxzx. LOL.

not on fridays though. ):

NEXT WEEK IS UNIT CAMP~~

looking forward to it because it's gonna be my last camp with the squad i had the most feelings and passion for.

i'm gonna miss them hell loads. :/

but this is life - people come and go in your life.

as long as i've left an impact in their lives, it's good enough.

gahhh.

so sentimental. 5 years spent with them.

ogayyy. this blog post has been officially sucky cuz it's just a throw in of all my random thoughts.

no effort has been put in to do up this post.

goodbye. guess i'm gonna close down my blog soon :/

Labels: left right left, memories, reflection

smile with me at 12:20:00 PM

thank you

Tuesday, January 18, 2011♥

whenever i feel like exploding/ranting, she will always be there to listen and give advice to whatever i say without judging me. i feel so calm and relaxed after sharing. thanks a lot (:

i'll definitely know what to do the next time such a thing happens again. thanks a million.

a small sharing of myself.

i've never told anyone that i feel lonely.

and today, the first time in my life, i told someone that "i felt lonely"

it's the kind of emptiness in my heart that made me feel lonely. physical companion doesn't really help in this case. no matter how much i laugh and joke in school, the emptiness in my heart doesn't really diminish. it's just my mask to laugh and be loud in school to cover all the uncertainty and inferiority in me. :/ i have no idea why i'm sharing such a personal thing today. perhaps i just want people to know me better? (:

but i'm not gonna dwell in self-pity because it's just so not me. i'm gonna move on and fill my heart with meaningful stuff. gonna be the companion or filler to someone else's empty heart (: this shall be one of my 2011 resolutions :D 2012, i'll look back and see if i've fulfilled this resolution :DD

time to set my priorities right.

no more "awwhh-ing" over you.

need to really work super hard for this sem.

*push you to one corner of my mind* :D

JIAYOU QY! 你可以的 ! :D

and to mark this in my memory,

i donated blood today! :D

at NP's Ourspace at 11.50am :D

it felt like i've accomplished something great in my life :D

i'm so sorry i didn't manage to take a photo of my bandage before taking it out.

but smart people like YOU ALL, should know how to make use of the search engine - Google/Yahoo right :D

STRONGLY ENCOURAGE ALL OF YOU TO GO AND DONATE YOUR BLOOD TO SAVE A LIFE! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

it's not painful (i mean, i didn't really feel the pain) heh.

Labels: GMH, happy days, memories

smile with me at 11:30:00 PM

Cambodia

Saturday, December 18, 2010♥

i'm back from Cambodia. 13 - 17 december.

quite a life-changing trip. not because it's my first plane ride or first time going overseas.

but because, i've learnt a lot during these 5days. i wouldn't dare to say that i have matured a lot from this trip. instead, i think my perceptions about many things have changed. What matters a lot in the past, doesn't really matter to me now already. things that i was very persistant about in the past suddenly seem so childish to me now :P also, the whole trip was very thought provoking. often, i would find myself leaving a place with my mind full of thoughts. especially after a home visit. i would really be thinking how exactly can we help so that they can really benefit from it.

i can't really describe with words how i feel about this whole trip. i guess, the only thing i can say is, i'm glad that i chose to go for the trip? <3

i wouldn't really go into details what happened during this whole trip cuz i'm just way too lazy to do so :X

YOU!
thanks for that 3 -4 hours chat <3 though i still don't believe that you purposely came over just to chat with me, i'm still thankful it (: you shared your secrets & i shared my ONE major secret :X haha. that feeling was good, though our convo started rather retarded-ly. and you gave me a scare when you appeared outside the window/door especially when the other channel was showing "chucky" =.= BUTBUTBUTBUTBUT, without you appearing, i would probably be sitting outside at the living room alone watching "Australia's Next Top Model" + "America's Masterchef" the whole night. HAHA :X thanks for the willingness to share what was in your complicated mind. i remember telling you that if someone were to open up your head, we would probably find a messed up head with wires connecting everywhere. okay, back to a serious note. our HTHT (?) session truly made me felt like we were friends at that moment. hahas. not like we weren't friends before this but rather, i could feel that our friendship isn't surface-y kind.
you made me very emo during our chat :X haha. you made me feel like falling for him was the worst decision ever made. HAHA. ahhh well. THANKS FOR THE TIME
THANKS BUD, I LOVE YOU (: but you love her. HAHAHAHAHHAHA. BOOHOO~ xDD

PW!
THANKS FOR SPAMMING MY FB WALL + COMING TO THE AIRPORT TO FETCH US! <3
I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU. <3
THANKS FOR ACCOMPANYING ME HOME TO PUT MY BAG AND GOING TO VIVO TO LISTEN TO MY STORIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS (my never-ending stories) xDDDDD
okay *clears throat* since that day, i've been talking and talking and talking and talking about him yet you never once asked me to shut up xD *huggggg* <3
THANKS BUD, I LOVE YOU (: but you love him. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. BOOHOO~ xDD

i feel so retarded <3 ahh well.

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i realised that the more i try to give up and distance myself away from you, the more i find myself getting closer to you.
so i've decided that i'm gonna stop trying to give up.
i just hope that our r/s remains like that.
i won't expect anything out of this.
THANKS BUD, I LOVE YOU (: <3

Labels: memories, reflection, you(:

smile with me at 4:05:00 PM

nth.

Thursday, September 11, 2008♥

我想我还是不够成熟

还达不到你的要求

我真的没有想的太多

只是怀念你走以后

离开难道真的是解脱难道

真的要事过境迁了以后才懂

倔强说不痛

假装什么伤都没有

倔强抬起头

决不让眼泪往下流

倔强说不痛

假装什么伤都没有

真的不难过

笑着和你挥挥手

如果有一天

我们有缘在见你会不会想起

说过的永远

[ song by BY2 ] [ 不够成熟 ]

quite a meaning song (:

~~srythaticouldnttelluwhy.~~

~~ireallyreallydunwantospoilourcurrentfriendship.~~

~~inoethatifisay.~~

~~thefriendshipthathascomethusfarwillnotbethesameanymore.~~

~~ireallydunwantoloseourfriendship.~~

~~iwillnvforgetthosechiong-ingperiods.~~

~~imybadly.~~

~~butisawuatthewrongtime.~~

~~iasked.igot.icried.iregret.~~

~~ideletedurno.andallyourmsges.~~

~~iwontcontactueveragain.~~

~~imademyselffalltoodeeply.~~

~~foolish.stupid.naiveme~~

~~goodyeforlong...~~

~~tillicanreallyforgetthefeelings.~~

~~i realli really hope that i can be on par with the guys during training .~~

~~i really feel quite upset when i'm being "looked down" .~~

~~i'll train double hard till i can be on par .~~

~~and nobody treats me as a girl during training .~~

~~dun look down on me .~~

Labels: memories, you, 倔强

smile with me at 8:35:00 PM